Growing up is a difficult process that everyone experiences. Although childhood innocence is lost, knowledge is gained from maturing. Maturing involves significant lessons that include accepting oneself, coping with betrayal, and finding one’s voice. An essential lesson in growing up is being able to accept oneself. Self- acceptance is being pleased with oneself; not caring about other people’s opinions. If children do not learn accept themselves, then they will never be able to truly mature. For example, in the short story Through the Tunnel by Doris Lessing the protagonist, Jerry, yearns to be like the older boys.
He is juvenile, seeking to fit in; wanting to be approved by the them. He is persistent to prove to them that he can make it through the tunnel. But, in the conclusion, “he did not want them” (Lessing 5) because he realizes he is childish for wanting validation and becomes content for who he is. This illustrates when people mature, they do not care for other’s validation. Instead, they trust their own voice and do not feel the need to rely on other people because they are self-satisfied with who they are.
They self-accept themselves; having a self-understanding, patience, and are aware of their strengths and weaknesses. In the article, In Praise of the Ordinary Child, the author Jeffrey Kluger states that “parents pressure their kids to be extraordinary” (Jeffery 1) when they are not special. He makes the point that parents need to stop conditioning their children to believe that they are the best, and brightest. They continuously feed children empty promises that success will come if they are “pushed and tested until success is assured” (Jeffery 2), but the reality is that is not something they can control.
The author is claiming that the resolution is to change the definition of success to being content. And in order for success to happen parents need to stop stressing their kids to follow one path. Children need to self-accept themselves and realize that they are not exceptional; they are who they are. Once they realize their capabilities, then success will come. Pretending to be an exceptional child will not satisfy anyone, but disillusioned parents. Lying to oneself will only cause anger and anguish for not being able to be someone he or she is not.
Therefore, in order to grow people need to be self-satisfied for who they are. If they do not learn to accept themselves, then will become reliant on their parents to control their future, rather than creating their own path. Coping with betrayal from reality and adult society is another crucial lesson in maturing. Children often have high expectations of themselves, often believing in fantasies rather than reality. But, when children cannot live up to their own ideals they feel betrayal. For instance, in the short story Araby, the narrator, is in love with an older woman.
He plans to woo her by going to the bazaar to find her a gift, but instead he realizes “ his stay is useless to make her interest in him seem more real”, ( Joyce 847) which expresses the cruel reality of his ignorance. He becomes “a creature driven and derided by vanity” (Joyce 847) and is filled with anguish and anger because of reality’s deception. But in order to mature, one must open their eyes to the self-realization of reality, instead of fantasizing what can never be. It is this betrayal, that allows a person to see the truth.
And although the truth is painful, it is beneficial as well. The innocent fantasies of youth are lost, and a lesson in growing up is gained. Another aspect of betrayal is hypocrisy from adult society. The role models that condition the younger generation are hypocrites. In the eyes of a children their role model is impeccable, and ideal. Adult society believes they are steering the younger generation in the right direction. But, in actuality, they do not realize they model the hypocritical behavior instead of resolving it.
For example, in the novel Lord of the Flies, by William Golding, a group of young British boys are stranded on an island and become primitive. In the resolution of the novel, a naval officer rescues the young boys and criticizes them. It is ironic to see that a man who leads barbaric war dares to censure these children who “should have put up a better show” ( Golding 202) when he is no better. This demonstrates that adults in society and not aware of their faults. Although they condition the younger generation from right and wrong, they are hypocrites.
They carp at the younger generation for making mistakes when they are not perfect themselves. When children mature they opens their eyes to the realization to adult society. They react by trusting their own judgement; not conforming to the adult society that betrays them. Finding one’s voice is a key lesson in the transition from childhood to adulthood. Using one’s voice is being able to speak out against injustice. People who strongly values their ideals, are not fearful about what society thinks about them. They find the courage to rebel against those who infringe against their values.
For instance, in greek play Antigone, by Sophocles, the protagonist Antigone speaks against Creon’s decree for not burying her brother Polyneices; proclaiming him as a traitor. Outraged with this injustice, she defies the king, and buries her brother. She is selfless; wanting to protect him, even after death. She does not hesitant to stand up for what she believes in even though the penalty is her own life. Antigone feels she has moral obligation to rebel against Creon because “her brother lie unburied would cause her grief” (Sophocles 93).
And although in Creon’s eyes her actions are deemed as foolish, she is mature for being able find her voice. This indicates people who are mature are not afraid to be judged by others who deride their values. They fight for a cause that does not only protect their rights, but also the rights of others. They are passionate and have altruistic desires to protect values they feel are being infringed upon. Unlike the story The Lottery, by Shirley Jackson, the protagonist Tessie, is selfish, hypocritical, and only speaks out against the system when it personally affects her.
She blindly follows the outdated tradition of the lottery, and does not question its value. She participates in this outdated ritual because she is a conformist. When the result of the lottery is revealed, and the “winner” is actually her, Tessie protest because she does not receive “the same amount of time” as everyone else. She retaliates because she wants to avoid her chilling fate, and is even willing to sacrifice her family for her own selfish needs. This illustrates that immature people who never find their voice will never be able to grow because they are conformist.
They fight against injustice because they fear punishment. They are selfish; they put their own well being before their family. In conclusion, maturing is process that involves the significant lessons that includes accepting oneself, coping with betrayal, and finding one’s voice. These lessons shape a person from a childhood to adulthood. They become independant, no longer relying on their parent’s conditioning. When people mature from a naive child to a responsible adult they are reborn.
