Growing up is one of the toughest experiences a person can encounter in their life. Their young adolescents brains have yet to develop. They’re just trying to fit in with their peers. Every way you turn, there are cliques, popular kids, and bullies, but all you want to do is feel that sense of belonging. Despite the hardships with people you may encounter, just remember that you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family. In my opinion, a family is best defined as people who love you unconditionally; accept you, and loving pets and friends. Having a family is the basic foundation that shapes us on how we behave as individuals.
Naturally, humans like to feel a part of things. Society try to make us believe the perfect family consists of a husband, wife and two kids. Families are much more than that, and once people reflect on their own personal lives, they will understand what a family truly means to them. For many, the definition of a family can vary. I believe the most important layer of a family is feeling unconditional love. Unconditional love is what you receive from your parents. From early conception, mothers feel love for their children. Women undergo chemical changes that happen in their brain during a pregnancy.
Women carry their children for nine months and form bonds through childbirth, and breastfeeding. During early development your parents are your sole provides and caretakers. They are up all hours of the night caring for you, simply because they love you. Babies cannot hold their heads up, let alone take care of themselves. Once kids grow a little older they are forced to make their own decisions. My theory on conditional love is that whatever decision you make in life parents will genuinely love and support them under any circumstance. When I was a child I had a fiery personality that was quite exhausting for my parents.
As I got older, there wasn’t one instance that I felt that my parents loved me any less because of my stubborn ways. Love is an important aspect kids need to feel because the relationship you have with your parents is the first you will ever have. Unconditional love is one of the most important layers in defining what a family is. Secondly, Feeling acceptance from your family is very important. Most kids search for approval from their parents, but there are others in the family whose acceptance is important too. Families range in size from small to large, from grandparents to siblings, to aunts, cousins and uncles.
Everyone just wants to feel accepted in their family unit. We are all born uniquely and different from one another. Parents often have expectations how their offsprings are supposed to look. Unfortunately, for some children they don’t meet their parent’s ideal image. For example, some parents make jokes about their child’s undesirable features and appearance like big ears. Although, these jokes may seem to be harmless, it can be harmful for the children’s self-esteem. If children don’t feel accepted from their families they will begin to feel they do not belong. Acceptance is key that children need to feel and receive a sense of approval.
I feel that families should accept each other for who they are. They do not necessarily need to agree with them, but understand their point of view. Being a part of a family is essentially the first interactive group you will be a part of in your life. Acceptance is an important element in defining a family. The next part that makes up a family are pets. Many couples try to conceive children but are unable to. Often time’s people believe that a family won’t be complete without children, but that is simply not true.
When I was five years old, my parents adopted a German shepherd mix. nd at first we were frightened by his size and were unsure of his temperament. As weeks went by we discovered how loving and caring he was. I remember one day I fell asleep on the sofa and rolled off on top of him. He yelped, but did not bite or attack me. From that point on my parents and I knew he was the right fit for us. He captured our hearts and was full of love. Pets are unable to verbally communicate with us, but even though he was unable to speak words, he communicated through his eyes that pierced our souls. Things would have been different without him and I believe my childhood would have been very lonely without him.
He added an extra spice to our household. He united us all together, by getting us all outside and walking him. He enjoyed running around the house with my Barbie’s dangling from his mouth, as I chased him trying to retrieve them. Pets are such an important role in families that are often forgotten. I am beyond blessed we had to opportunity to take him in as a family member. In addition, friends can be an added bonus to families as well. Some people don’t have a family due to certain circumstances and are taken in by their close friends. They might spend holidays with them or even plan their wedding.
The old saying “blood is thicker than water” can be true to an extent but there is no rule that says friends can’t be an added. The famous TV show Friends aired for ten seasons and was favored by many. Friends was about six young people who lived together in Manhattan. These young people did not have a lot of family, but they had each other. The bond that they had was unbreakable. I believe that this show is a prime example that you do not need to be blood related to someone to consider them family. Family is a loose term that has several thousand different definitions all over the world.
As a matter of fact, my family lives across the country in Ohio, so it is very difficult to spend time with them. I only get to see them twice a year. Distance puts barriers on our family because we are unable to spend time with each other. In California, I only have my parents and a brother. It gets pretty lonely not having my entire family here. Luckily, I am fortunate enough to have several of my friend’s families that have taken me in and make me feel included in their gatherings. The times I do get to spend time with my family, feels great, but feeling welcome in my friend’s families are a great added bonus as well.
I hope one day I can return the favor with my children’s friends and be as welcoming to them as others have been towards me. To sum up, you can define what a family is in anyway your heart desires. Everyone has their own vision of what a family is and how to feel a part of one. For me I believe that a family includes receiving unconditional love, feeling accepted, and having pets and friends. All of these examples pertain to my life, and each part is important to me. If you take one out of the equation it would not feel complete. Always remember, friends may come and go, but your family is forever.
