Families are full of odd quirks and traditions. Whenever my dad’s family gets together for a birthday we have to set up a spanking train that the birthday boy has to go through as many times as his birthday is. We all have our separate ways that we do things, and this is no exception to how families treat a growing teenager. Every family gives their child different responsibilities, freedoms, and guidance as he grows older. My family is no exception. As I have scanned back on the last couple of years, I have found a few rituals in which I was slowly promoted, rank by rank, to the status of adulthood.
To start getting my idea’s flowing, I interviewed my mother, Kimberli Williams, to see what point in her life made her feel like she was able to call herself an adult. The moment she talked about was when she left the house after high school into college. She had to pay for everything herself, so this gave her a lot of responsibility and ownership over her education. It also helped that she was able to get away from the family farm and all the chores that were forced on her there. To begin with, one of the very first rituals I felt made me one step older happened when I was twelve.
I had always wanted a bb gun, but my parents told me that I had to wait until I was twelve. I knew it was coming on my birthday, but to actually be able to hold a weapon, even one as wimpy as that one, gave me a sense of adulthood and responsibility. It wasn’t until many years later that I started abusing that responsibility whilst playing war with my cousin. This was one new responsibility that would only compound into many new responsibilities. The next big step in my life came when I was 14.
This was the first year of my high school career. This was a huge step in my life as it is in anyone’s life. Everything was so new and so big. It was very easy to get lost in the halls, especially at my height. So many new responsibilities were thrown onto me, I almost couldn’t keep up. But now I look back and laugh at these moments because they have molded me into the person I am today. Every bit of that freshman year has affected me in some sort of way, either positive or negative. This is why rituals are so important.
Without these rituals I would not be as I am today, which is why in Aldous Huxley’s novel Brave New World, John the savage does not fit in anywhere because he was never able to participate in either cultures rituals. Another ritual came when I turned 16. As is custom in my religion, we refrain from dating until we are 16. This turning point opened a huge door full of fun and danger. So many new options were open to me it was almost scary. Although I have rarely used this rite of passage I now have, it has still affected my life.
My parents had less control over what I was doing and with whom. They of course tried to squeeze into my life in any way they possibly could, but that is just what parents do. My next rite of passage came soon after I turned 17. During winter break of 2014, I was able to get a job at 20th Century Ford. This was one of the biggest responsibilities I had on to this point, so I was very worried. Learning everything that there was to about cars came as a big shock seeing as I had close to zero experience with car maintenance.
It didn’t take me long to learn the ropes; although there are still times I have no idea what to do. As a member of the LDS church, one of the key components for me to become a man is serving a mission. The preparation for this is very significant. I have been saving money since I was very little to be financially prepared for my two year journey. The cost is around $10,000, which I have earned by raising steers and selling them in auctions. Raising these steer has taught me the value of hard work, which has come in very handy in my day to day life.
Other than being physically and monetarily prepared, I also have to be prepared with the teachings of my church so that I can help others with any questions they have about my faith. This requires a lot of study into my church’s scripture and other readings. The preparation before going is almost as hard as the mission itself. Once I receive my call and have left my family and friends for two years, the real trial starts. Having this separation from family makes a young boy grow into a man very quick, and also teaches him how to be independent. This is the hardest, but most rewarding, ritual that I will soon have to go through.
Rituals are all throughout a person’s life. These rituals come in all shapes and forms, but never the same for any one person. Although scary at first, these rites of passage are important to us as humans. Humans have used these for as long as history has been written, and our generation is no different. As John Lennon said, “Rituals are important. Nowadays it’s hip not to be married. I’m not interested in being hip. ” Old rituals like marriage have almost lost their luster in today’s world, which is frightening. These are part of what define our culture and need to be saved.
