I used to gag at the thought of running eight hundred meters. There I stood with my heart racing, ready to run five kilometers. To everyone else, this was an unimportant meet that even the coach said he did not care about. It was for me, however, more terrifying than losing my mom in the grocery store when I was a child. My first meet and all I could think of was my speed or lack thereof. I did not have distance spikes. I did not have a muscle roller. All I had was my heart in my throat paired with running shoes. Since the day before, my blood pressure had been rising and continued to do so.
The race had begun and soon the first-mile marker made its way into my vision. Heaving, my breaths seemed like they would be directed towards the…
I kept my eyes trained on my feet. Heat clouded my brain. I felt a strong pull over me to stop, to slow down or even take a short cut. More than anything, I wanted to wander into a ditch, curl up and pity myself. I thought about my goal- thirty minutes or under- which, to other girls on our team would be an easy feat. I thought about how proud I would be if I finished. The lactic acid in my thighs overcame me, and I began to walk. My feet dragged on the ground in protest, feeling like my grandmothers needlepoint. I cursed myself continuously. Girls who were behind me started to pass. The many ahead became specks of dust in my line of vision. A tsunami washed over me and gathered behind my eyes. The mysterious tidal wave overcame me as I sunk into the seabed, drowning in…
I kept myself on pace, past the sidewalk, and down the small hill. My feet shuffled faster, my breathing became heavier. I lowered my arms, lengthened my strides and prayed to God that he would give me strength. My lungs began to scream obscenities, my heart threatened to leave my chest, and I was sure my legs were planning my murder. I started to embrace the pain exploding through my body. I began work among the strains of physical feeling and pushing myself against my mental limitations. Each leaden step burnt my tired muscles and bore into my brain. An undesirable battle presented itself to me. Demands made themselves prevalent in my mind.
The ground under my feet transitioned from smooth concrete to rugged track. Three hundred meters. The instance of my feet hitting the ground became few and in between. My name rang into my ears from boys clad in bright green. Shouts and screeches for the last Weddington girl to cross the finish line echoed in the air. Two hundred meters and I began to sprint.
I slowed to a stop and leaned on my knees. My emotions overcame me and my mouth formed an elongated “O” and tears rushed and spilled over. My heart continued to beat a mile a minute while the adrenaline coursed through my veins. It was my poison. It was my…