Suicides, murders, serial killers, psychopaths, sociopaths, and the list goes on. Social media has invaded society, and has turned nearly 50% of the world we used to know as nature into a field of technology. Making parents afraid of the internet dimension, and causing them to protect their child in every possible way they can; even if it includes breaking their child’s trust by invading their privacy. It seems as if parents don’t know how to react when social media enters into their child’s lives.
They question the way they raised them, and they doubt that a teen can be trusted. I believe that parents have the right to monitor responsibly– to a certain point– while giving their children the privacy they deserve; we as teens need to learn from our mistakes, in order to take on the social life from a different and safer perspective. Other than as a teen, I’ve also been addressed as a wise, mature woman stuck in a 14-year-old’s body.
I’m a responsible, athletic, respectful, and intelligent young lady who has social media (snapchat, instagram, etc). During sports I usually get scratches, bruises, etc. , but nothing too serious. The reason for this is because I’m careful of what I do, just like how I am on social media. Before getting social media, my parents explained to me the dangers of it and how it can affect me. I built trust in my parents by keeping my grades up, being obedient, being respectful, and not doing anything that would harm myself or others physically or mentally.
In my experience, my parents don’t invade my privacy by being nosy and stalking me with a mollycoddled monitor app that parents think they can use hide behind to be excused from being called a patronizing parent. Spyware and monitoring apps are only for those negligent parents who like to read their child’s every thought. Coben is quite frank and sincere when he mentions, “There is a fine line between being responsibly protective, and irresponsibly nosy” (Coben 2).
He simply explains the difference between a parent who acts responsibly and checks up on their teen once in awhile against a parent who enjoys eavesdropping in their child’s life to see what her/his friend is up to. Danah Boyd, a principal researcher at Microsoft Research and a fellow at Harvard University’s Berkman Center, mentions in one of her article: “Teens need the freedom to wander the digital streets, but they also need to know that caring adults are behind them and supporting them wherever they go” (1).
In other words, Boyd is saying that kids need to learn from their mistakes, but it doesn’t mean that parents can’t be there for their child when they do so. Parents need to understand that their child is in the process of learning when being on social media. All they have to do is be patient, and have their arms spread wide for their child when they make mistakes. Am I encouraging you to let your child run wild on social media? Absolutely not. All I’m saying is that parents need to act responsibly and appropriately when it comes to new technology like this.
Don’t let those touch screen devices, nor those flip up mainframes dominate your skills as a parent. Do remember this; “Trust is one thing, but surrendering parental responsibility to a machine that allows the entire world access to your home borders on negligence” (Coben 1). You can monitor responsibly by simply checking up on your child now and then, not by an app that tells you every key your child presses. It wouldn’t be wise of you to break your child’s trust just because you were too much of a coward to confront them and ask them what they are up to.
And whatever you do, do not set more restrictions than necessary. Although parents want to protect their kids from everything they can, lurking through their child’s phone to see everything that is on it isn’t acceptable nor responsible. I still believe believe that parents and teens are right — to a certain point — when it comes to monitoring. With new technology comes new confusions of life and how we raise our kids to stand with their head held high, and their smile wide. But don’t be afraid of the new fields of technology.
You do not need some weird app that you can easily install and uninstall. Those so called “surveillance” apps don’t work. If your child finds out that you are watching them, they’ll find other ways to communicate with their so called “friends. ” Instead, act wisely and responsibly by using communication skills and parental responsibilities. Support. Listen. Encourage and communicate with your child. Only a parent with true parental responsibility and parental skill should be able to communicate with their child better than anyone else.