In this Close Reading I will be analyzing a passage from “Preciousness,” by Clarice Lispector, in an attempt to argue that the protagonists idle classroom drawings are a metaphor for an internal struggle to reconcile “self” with normative contextual constraints that compel conformity. “Preciousness” centers on the internal life of an unnamed 15-year old girl, as she attempts to navigate questions of agency, meaning, identity and sexuality within larger cultural and social contexts.
Bounded and constrained by conventions and customs inherent to dominant theoretical and ideological paradigms, which through their normative constructions exert a great deal of influence. Painfully self-aware, the protagonist finds her personal conceptions of, and desires for, self at odds with dominant gender convention. The imagery of “vastness” that Lispector uses to illustrate the protagonist’s internal character is sharply contrasted with the narrow and confined existence that accompanies strict adherence to dominant convention.
On page 105, Lispector writes; “At times, while the teacher was speaking, she, intense, nebulous, drew symmetrical lines on her exercise book. If a line, which had to be at the same time both strong and delicate, went outside the imaginary circle where it belonged, everything would collapse: she become self-absorbed and remote, guided by the avidity of her ideal. ” First, the description of the protagonist as nebulous is meant to be allusion to the indefinite nature of her sense of self, which at 15, is just beginning to solidify.
The act of drawing in this context is representative of her internalization of dominant paradigms, as the desire for symmetry and “belonging” or conforming, is just as much internally located as it is a reflection of external pressures. By its very nature a line implies rigidity and structure. Lines denote boundaries and divisions. There is always an “inside” and an “outside” when lines are drawn, and as Lispector notes, those divisions are “imaginary,” artificially constructed.
In describing the necessity for lines to be both strong and delicate, Lispector is explicitly alluding to the external pressures exerted on women, and in particular girls, to manifest qualities strength or resilience while still maintaining their sexual desirability, or “preciousness. ” The socially constructed centrality of physical attractiveness and sexuality for female identity in male dominated space means that women are sexualized, objectified and dehumanized by the artificial distillation of their entire being to an externally determined and arbitrarily selected characteristic.
To exist in male-dominated spaces like the bus or the street then, the protagonist must erect a facade of severity or veneration to assuage her fears of “being looked up and down” (104), of being sexualized and objectified. But this facade must not hinder her sexual viability or approachability lest she be labeled a “bitch. ” Women and girls, including the protagonist, must navigate competing concerns over forfeiting too much agency or risking undesirable social categorization.
Fear, which is a recurring theme and phrase in the narrative, is implicit in this passage. The fear is relatively undefined; “everything would collapse,” but its source is the fear of defying dominant convention and the subsequent individualization that defiance causes. To not conform is to stand out, is to become an individual, which “was what she had seemed to have been warned about” (109). The protagonist’s fear of “having someone look at her” (103), or “say[ing] something to her” (103), is a fear of being identified and engaged with as an individual.
Her unsuccessful strategies for mitigating the dangers of genderbased violence center around the maintenance of anonymity. The concept of the “imaginary circle” of belonging would seem to render these fears unfounded, if not invalid, but such is the irrational logic of patriarchy and heteronormativity. The singular “line” in the second sentence is representative of the main character’s struggle to reconcile her own conception of self with the dominant gender conventions that constitute the “imaginary circle where it [she] belonged. The “self-absorption” is a reference to the hyper-self consciousness that accompanies the navigation of these particular tensions.
For the main character, and for other women and girls as well, internal conceptions of, and desires for, self often conflict with dominant conventions resulting in pernicious and omnipresent self-consciousness. This division between internal and external can lead to a divergence from self in the pursuit of conformity, and so the “remoteness” the protagonist feels is a separation from her true self.
The passage continues and the metaphor extends; “Sometimes, instead of lines, she drew stars, stars, stars, so many and so high that she out of this task of foretelling exhausted, lifting her drowsy head. ” Instead of lines, instead of boundaries and conventions, occasionally the protagonist lets herself stray into less strictly defined territory. Drawing stars is meant to represent behaviors that do not reflect the influence of the normative pressures of dominant paradigms.
The writing of the phrase “stars, stars, stars,” itself is an act of nonconformity on the part Lispector, who forgoes typical writing convention to illustrate her broader point. But these acts of defiance, these expressions of independence come at a cost. That cost can be emotional or physical, sometimes both. Drawing stars, stars, stars “exhausts” the protagonist, but other acts of nonconformity can be met with stiffer retribution. It’s not however the severity, but rather the ubiquity of these costs that is most impactful.
Every act, including the act of simply existing in male-dominated space requires thought and energy. Constantly reconciling internal conceptions of self with normative expectations based on artificial and domineering conventions is a struggle almost everyone, but in particular women and girls, is forced to engage with. With this sentence, Lispector is saying that simply existing as one would, within larger social and cultural contexts, is exhausting.