Humorous Wedding Speeches Essay

The wedding actually turned out to be really nice. We had both recited our vows, and surprisingly neither of us screwed them up. Blake’s was really sweet; “I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard, these things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.

I was pretty sure that Eliza had started crying somewhere along the lines. My vows turned out to be quite similar to Blake’s; “From the moment our paths crossed, you’ve surprised me, distracted me, captivated me, and challenged me in a way that no human being ever has. I’ve fallen in love with you again and again, countless times, without reservation, and I still can’t believe that today I get to marry my best friend. ” “Well, you guys can both kiss the groom, I guess” the pastor said with a laugh. I smiled at Blake and leaned in, pressing our lips together. After that, we had photos taken and then we were finally left alone.

Every so often people would come up to us to congratulate us, and to be honest, I didn’t even know many of them. However my someone I did know walked up to us. Juliet was there, arm linked in Anthony’s, a friend we had in high school, walking up to us. “So, you guys have it all then? ” Juliet asked, with a smile. I was completely lost. “What are you talking about? ” “Was it worth it? Leaving me to fend for myself just so that you two can have a perfect life together? ” She asked, still smiling. “Yes it was” Blake said, grabbing my hand. “Juliet, we weren’t suited to be together. We had nothing in common, whatsoever.

And I’m sorry, but we would’ve never worked out, regardless of Mason. ” She rolled her eyes. “Right sure. ” Anthony sighed, leading her away from us. Eliza walked up, a frown on her face. “She’s a fucking bitch. ” “Tell me about it. Stupid slut” | said and Blake sighed. He took me into his arms and lightly kissed my forehead. “Okay, don’t get upset, just enjoy today. Please. ” I smiled at him. “Of course I will. I love you. ” He smiled back. “I love you too, baby doll. ” “Oi, Mr Zimmerman! Or Mr Fletcher, whatever you’re using now. Congrats on the wedding! ” Chris said, massive grin on his face.

He was walking over to us, holding one of Sam’s hand, tugging him along with him. Sam was laughing and walking with them. “Oh, you guys made it” | said, happily. “Course we did. Sam had a mental breakdown on the way here, but we got here in the end” Chris said, making Sam look down with a blush. Chris noticed that Sam was upset and squeezed his hand. Hey, it’s alright, Sam. We made it here. It’s not your fault. ” Sam nodded and smiled when Chris pulled him in for a hug. Dean rolled his eyes. “You guys make me sick. ” “Hey, we bought you guys the best present” Sam said, voice slightly muffled from Chris’ chest.

Better not be an animal” I joked, making them all laugh. “You guys bought us a budgie? ” I asked as Chris handed us a cage at the reception. “Yeah, we’re pretty sure it’s a girl. Though you could use a womanly touch around the house” Chris said, with a laugh. Blake took the cage out my hands and placed it on the present table. “Well, thank you, interesting choice in gifts. ~ “Now, it’s time for the Haleigh to make her speech” the guy hosting the reception said. Blake wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we were sitting at the large table. “Okay, guys, welcome to the wedding. Just like to thank you all for coming.

Even though some of you came from really far, and some of you don’t even know Blake or Mason. Alright, let’s get into it. So, Blake and Mason are probably the cutest couple I know, even cuter than Scott and I, but that’s not saying very much. Hey, don’t look at me like that, Scott. Fine, we’re the cutest straight couple. Anyway, Blake and Mason were practically dating since primary school. Anyone who went to our school will know what I’m talking about. Mason’s first kiss was Blake, and Blake don’t give me that look, of course I remember. They were only official five years ago, even though we all already thought that they were dating.

They are a pair of oblivious idiots, but they managed to finally get together, and I’m so fucking happy for them. I hope that they have a good life together, being rich, still not sure how they make all that money, and I want to make sure to be there every step of the way with them. From teaching Mason how to braid their daughters hair, even though he’d probably be better than me, to helping look after their kids so that they can go out together. And yeah, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but when I look back to primary, I always thought that Blake and Mason would get married, and look at where we are now.

I’m proud of you both, and I love you” she said, finishing with a large grin. Everyone clapped and she walked over to us, kissing our cheeks, before sitting back down. Blake leaned over to whisper in my ear. “Did you tell Haleigh about when we kissed? ” I laughed. “Yeah, back in year ten. I didn’t tell her last time I remembered it. ” He rolled his eyes, kissing my forehead. “Only Haleigh would remember something like that. ” “Okay, now we’re going to have a speech from Scott” the host said, handing the microphone to Scott as he stood up. “Alright, let’s skip the bullshit love crap.

We all know that Blake and Mason are in love and they’ll probably die on the same day when they’re like 300 or something, but I’d just like to point out, that whilst we make fun of them for being so in love and disgusting, it’s a thing you rarely see. To see a couple who can love each other so long, long enough to know each other’s flaws and everything about them, and to love them the same as they did in year two is crazy. And that’s what I admire most about this couple. Sure, they’re fucking annoying sometimes, but the amount of nights I’ve spent on their couch when Haleigh had kicks me out just proves how generous and caring they are.

I think everyone here, excluding the people Haleigh and Eliza invited to bump up the numbers, have heavily been impacted by Blake and Mason. They help out with everything, and that’s why I know that they’ll be happy together” he said, andy laughed as I saw Haleigh crying. “Oh, calm down, everyone. It wasn’t supposed to be that emotional” he said, handing the microphone back. Blake smiled and kissed my lips. “Blake is going to make a speech now, whilst Mason has opted to stay quiet, so a round of applause for Blake” the host said, handing the microphone to Blake, “T’d just like to thank everyone for coming.

Shoutout to Haleigh and Eliza for planning the entire wedding even though they did the exact opposite of what we asked. It still turned out great, and I can’t imagine having a better wedding. Really, I’m just excited that you guys got to witness and be alongside me, as I married Mason” he said, with a laugh. He turned to me and smiled. “Hello, husband. ” | blushed and covered my face with my hands. He chuckled. “I’ve been waiting to say that for so long. Too long, actually. And I know that I haven’t been the best boyfriend to Mason.

Stealing his first kiss, pretending to fall off a building, and proposing with a lollipop ring. But I can promise you, Mason, I will do everything in my power to protect you. No matter what. I love you, baby girl. ” | blushed again. Why did he have to call me baby girl in front of everyone? Despite the situation, I let out a small chuckle and heard Chris, Sam and Dean dying of laughter in the corner of the room. Blake walked back over to me, Eliza following him. “Guys, I hacked into your Facebook accounts and made it official.

You two are married on Facebook now, congrats” she said, running off again, probably trying to find some guy to hook up with or something. “I love you, darlin” Blake said, taking me into his arms. “I love you too, you dork. ” I sighed in content. “Hey, we’re married now. If I leave you, I get 50% of your belongings. ” He chuckled, kissing me. “Mm, don’t do that. I need my money. Also, I might miss you a little bit. ” “Hm, well you should’ve thought about that before you proposed” | said, laughing. He kissed my forehead. “You’re a little shit sometimes, but it’s okay, because I still love you. “