Balram realizes that being in the Light of Delhi does not mean that he has escaped from the Darkness of his past, prompting him to voluntarily refine his own habits of buying what has the most value and chewing paan in order to become an accepted part of the Light. Balram recognizes that Pinky Madam is right about his filthiness and unhygienic habits so he decides to observe and follow Mr. Ashok’s mannerism in order to fully embrace his life in the Light. Balram sees how Mr. Ashok wears a plain white shirt and admits, “It was like no T-Shirt I would ever choose to buy at a store.
The larger part of it was empty and white and there was a small design in the center. I would have bought something very colorful, with lots of words and designs on it. Better value for the money” (Adiga 126-127). Balram grew up in the Darkness and learned to buy what had the most value rather than what he liked most. Balram recognizes his servant mentality to buy what has “better value for the money” he is paying, and realizes that in order to be an accepted part of the Light, he must change and refine his habits.
Even though his mind is telling him to buy a more colorful shirt because it is has more value than a plain white shirt, he is willing to sacrifice what he believes is right to fit in with the people in the Light and further distance himself from those in the Darkness. By purchasing the plain white T-shirt, Balram is taking a step towards independence and into the Light. After buying the plain shirt, Balram proceeds to enter the mall wearing his white Tshirt in an attempt to be free and break away from his lifestyle of servitude.
Even though Balram is in Delhi, the servant mentality he acquired from the Darkness still sticks with him. When Balram acknowledges his unacceptable habits, he is willing to sacrifice his identity from the Darkness in his pursuit of refinement. Pinky Madam also mentions the filthiness of his teeth as a result of him chewing paan. Balram decides to refine himself by getting rid of his old habits and buys toothpaste to reverse the effects of chewing paan. As he brushes his teeth with his finger, Balram notices that “the toothpaste had thickened into a milky foam; it began dripping down the sides of my lips.
I spat it out. Brush. Brush. Spit. Brush. Brush. Spit… If only a man could spit his past out so easily” (Adiga 127-128). Balram becomes aware of the habits he developed in the Darkness and realizes that the complaints of Pinky Madam are true. In order to fully be a part of the Light, he must change his norms and follow the ways of those in the Light. The brushing of his red, stained teeth represents refinement so by brushing his teeth, he is brushing away his past and the bad habits he obtained from the Darkness.
Balram describes how the milky foam from the toothpaste which contains the paan from his teeth is dripping down the side of his mouth, just like how his bad habits are slowly dripping away. The effects of chewing paan are coming off of his teeth into the toothpaste, which Balram spits out. The spitting of the toothpaste represents his desire for a true life in the Light. By spitting out his toothpaste, he is getting rid of his past identity and distancing himself from the Darkness. Chewing paan is a sign of those from the lower class so by getting rid of that habit, he is becoming a part of the Light.
From the moment Balram spat at God from the Black Fort, he has slowly distanced himself from his family in the Darkness, just like the slow dripping of the toothpaste down the side of his mouth. He spat at God for creating the Darkness and is now he is spitting out his past identity in order to be accepted into the Light. The repetition of the phrase “Brush. Brush. Spit. ” shows how it takes time to refine oneself and it is not just a simple single change you can make. Adiga repeats the word “brush” twice for every time he writes “spit.
The brushing of his teeth represents refinement and the paan represents his past so by brushing away the stains of his teeth created by paan, he is refining himself and getting rid of his past. Even so, Balram struggles to build his new identity in the Light because he must deal with the troubles brought to him by his family in the Darkness, especially Kusum. Balram wishes he could spit out his past as easily as it is to spit out toothpaste, and recognizes how refinement and change comes with struggles and sacrifices as well.