Gerald had leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk when he’d finished his appraisal, and kept his gaze locked on the actress, keen to see if his statement, deliberately constructed to appeal to Katrina’s ego and self awareness, had any effect. His lips curled up slightly at the corners, in what could be taken either as a smile or an expression of curiosity, and he attempted to gauge as much from her expression as the words she spoke.
Of course, he’d expected her to respond as she did in regards to her profession being a passion, however the actress still she didn’t display any outward signs of great emotion, and to the Psychologist her demeanour appeared deliberately selfcontained, and controlled. How was she in bed? The same? “Words are easy, however, please recall that it wasn’t your passion or an independent desire to hone your talent that led to you making an appointment to see me, but a perceived lack of both that caused you to be referred, and in the film Industry, perception is reality. The Doctor replied when she wasdone, after his eyes had shifted over his shoulder to glance at the framed medical degree hung on the wall. Psychology had once been a passion for him, and had remained so for the first decade of practice, however his rich, privileged clientele, who’d listen to his advice, pay him $500 an hour, then go and do the exact opposite of what he’d declared would be to their benefit had eventually led to cynicism, and a dislike of his own clients which bordered on hatred.
If they wanted to ignore his advice, and continue to fuck themselves up on booze, drugs and affairs, why not help them along. It’s where they’d all end up anyway. “The difference between my occupation and yours, is that I am not paid to display myself to the world, and for a couple of hours, provide others the opportunity to escape their everyday lives, by believing what they see upon the screen is real. Or could be. You can either take on board what others view from the outside, or ignore their opinions and expertise, and continue to believe you exude what they think you do not.
The Doctor paused to take a breath. His tone had transformed from the soft, Fatherly one he’d used earlier to one more blunt, and he’d moved his body further he’d moved even further forward on his chair, to get closer to Katrina Ellis. To get through to her. “What I see in you is a controlled and emotionless young woman, whose non-virginal status is irrelevant. As you so aptly stated experience as a stripper isn’t required in order to be able to portray one, and that works in reverse.
A professional stripper may not be able to portray a believable one on screen, and having had sex in reality does not mean that you can believably portray sensuality on film. It’s a mental aptitude, driven by the subconscious. If the actress believes that what her character is doing is unethical, or against her world view, and allows that to bleed into her performance, the audience will see straight through it. ” Gerald shrugged as if to apologise for his directness, however his head didn’t move, and his focus on Katrina remained unwavering.
He wasn’t sorry, in the slightest, and like Michael before him although the Doctor was unaware of the precedent – attempted to elicit a reaction. “I’m well aware of who your Mother is, and the irony is that whilst you state being able to handle her indicates that you’re an adult, simultaneously, what you words tell me is that it’s the fear of your Nicole, and her opinion of your sexuality that frightens you and causes you to be scared of displaying your emotions in front of the others. What may she think? What may the audience think? That Nicole Ellis possesses emotions and desires, and is an independent, sexual being?
That she’s human? However, your Mother couldn’t have that, could she, Katrina? Sex is bad, it’s evil and act to be ashamed of, and hidden from others, as should your body. Casual sex is the Devil in disguise, offering temptation with the pleasure it can provide, but filled only with bad intent. Here’s the proof, look what it did to my dreams. ” Sarcasm momentarily dripped from his tone, before he reigned it back. “At twenty-one you should have let go of your Mother’s coat-tails, and taken control of your own destiny, and choices by now.
You may consider that to be the case, but the truth, as | see it, is that it’s Nicole Ellis who remains in control of your morals and sexual independence, and until you release yourself from her mental clutches, your emotions, inner sensuality and the real Katrina Ellis will never see the light of day. Neither will the Lily Michael Rodriguez requires for his film. The Doctor paused to soothe his throat with a sip from his water glass, and both his piercing gaze, and tone had lessened in intensity, when he continued.
You might be correct about Julia Roberts and Pretty Women, and that she was not a stripper, however, are you aware of the research she out into the role? The time she did spend with exotic dancers, and high-class prostitutes in an attempt to understand them, so that when audiences viewed the film, they could believe she was Vivian Ward? Does consorting with such people and learning from them make her immoral, Katrina, and lessen your respect for the woman or does it just make her an actress, a professional, who wanted nothing more than to give the best performance possible?
Can the same be said of you? As much as you declare that you will and can do the film, that decision is not yours to make, it’s the Director’s, and as to if he has faith that you can deliver the Lily he needs for the production to be a success. Can you, or will your career pan out the same as your Mothers, the woman you so rely upon to provide advice and direction, whether you admit it or not? We’re only granted one life, and should not allow someone else to live it for us, so take hold of your own desires Katrina. Relish your sexual and emotional freedom, and Lily will relish hers. “
