Thide, but not in the shadows, I hide behind a mask. This is me about to divulge my story, so please read on reader. I believe that finding true freedom a person’s mask will fall off. I always told myself as a kid to keep the mask on or else I might get hurt. I do not really know where this type of thinking came from. The mask only came off when I was in the safety of my own room. For years, I stay behind my fake face waiting and watching the world in silence until the day I could take the mask off in public.
I realize that taking off my mask was a risk, but it is worth seeing the world and not feeling the need to hide. That day finally came, when the sun is shinning on my back, the wind whipping through my hair and the mask fell off my face. I wait on the warm sand readjusting my grip on the board. Kyle already stands beside me, as if he is waiting for me to take the first step closer to the water. I seem to gravitate towards him all the time, I guess it’s just because he is the only one in our group that is my age even though he is an irascible boy.
It also does not help that he is only person in our group who has not ostracized me. On my other side is my sister, Lexi, she’s so tiny it looks like her board could overpower her just by falling. I motion her off to join her group. At least with her group she’ll be surfing the inside and staying away from the deeper parts. Lexi whines but does what I ask. My little sister struggles to lift the board over her head so I help her set it in place and send her on her way. The Goebel 2 sun glinting off the water, the seagulls crying and the crash of the waves calling out to me. I’m not going to wait anymore.
I start walking towards the ocean and turn to flash Kyle a smirk, “Ready? ” Thear my sister’s childish laughter as I pass her group. She waves at me as she rides past us on a baby wave. I scream out my extol to her as she stands up, her legs wobbly like a newborn taking its first steps. I start to paddle to the sweet spot. My arms begin to burn as I work them into a rhythm. I move into a sitting position and watch the sunlight dance along the water. Kyle drifts next to me, and I try to kick him off his board, but instead he catches my leg and pushes me into the warm salty water.
As I clumsily climb back onto the board I notice a pelican gracefully settles down in the water close to me. I make eye contact with Kyle and slowly put my pointer finger to my lips. He shakes his head at my childness. I quickly and quietly as possible paddle towards the pelican. Just as I draw closer I hear a splashing sound as if somebody just slapped his hand against the water. The pelican spreads its wings, knocking me off my board. In a panic, I scrambled back onto my board and quickly paddle back to Kyle, who is laughing at my misfortune.
I slip under the waves and swim underneath his board and throw him off. “This is what you get for laughing at me. ” I say to him as he resurfaces. We sit there for what seems like hours, enjoying the sun on our backs and the sounds of waves crashing on the sand. I begin to feel drowsy, as the rhythm of the waves is rocking my board. The ocean seems to be very diffident today. I smile because this is the first time in a while I have been truly happy. My body relaxes as the heat of the sun dances along my back.
A strange silence Goebel 3 falls around me and it feels like the world is silent. Because of this I know that a wave is coming. I peel my stomach from the wet board and pop my head up. There it is, coming from the horizon like a noble knight riding into battle. I quickly turn my board around and start to paddle, ‘I can do this,’ I think to myself over and over again. Here it is the moment of truth, if I fall I lose the wave to someone else. I stand up and once again feel the rushes of falling. I feel the rush of wind as the wave pushes me forward.
I start to smile,’So, this is what freedom feels like’, / think as my mask finally falls off. By finding true freedom my mask lost its grip on me. I admit, sometimes the mask comes back on but it always falls off. Through surfing the mask I hid behind finally fell away. Now I walk, a free man never to be held prisoner by my mask anymore. At first when my mask fell I was worried how people would see me, how people would react to the real me. Now as time has gone by I realize that my mask falling off was a gift. Through surfing, I now see the world through unhidden eyes.
