Personal Narrative: How To Get Away With Murder

Is it your husband, wife, annoying teen, insane in-laws, or teacher? Or all of them like it was for me. Whoever it is you want gone, can vanish in a series of simple steps. Over the years; after countless evil deeds and the police catching onto my trail, I made a fool proof guide to an untraceable murder. I would not recommend any of my past murders for they have ending in jail time. However, I have use my past triumphs and tribulations to make a stressful, frightening, and time consuming deed fun.

I know murder is not for everyone, but if you choose to, here is a blueprint to carry out a enjoyable murder and not get caught. First off, before I get started with the process, you need to know how to be creative. You need to understand that no murder is the same. Feel free to spill guts and blow out brains all over the walls. Be a blunt killer and a brutal killer. Have fun by killing you victim in an evil yet romantic way. Let them you know you care by having their murder on the front page of the world wide news.

Also try to dismember your victim in a way that involves their interests, this will be key later on when transporting your victims remains. Now that I have gotten the creative and fun part out of the way, it is time to explain an untraceable murder. Before you begin an untraceable murder, gather information on the murderee. Stalking is the best way to do this. Figure out where you vitim works, plays, eats, and lives on a normal basis. As an expert, I also find it key, through stalking, to find your victims odd daily habits. Such as when they get the mail or at what time they take a shower.

It is key to understand when, where, and what you victim does. Know your victims habits so well so you could be your victim. Stalking your victim will be a key part of the foundation for your murder. Next, make sure your getaway route and mode of transportation, if a vehicle, is fully fueled or charged. Once the murder happens, as I have personally found out, there is not much time to flee. The quickest route isn’t always the best; taking a kayak down river or a silent dirt bike down a back trail will keep you hidden from authorities.

In other words, flee the area of the scene quickly, but take an undisclosed and unbenounced rout even if it tis a time consuming. To be able to do this however mean you must know you exit rout like the back of your hand. Also use a means of quiet transportation, the quieter the better. I would advise against fleeing by foot, if their is a water source like a river use it; otherwise use a quick vehicle like an electric prius. I would also advise having all of your supplies ready. Your bleach should be on hand to clean the scene.

You must be a master with your murder weapon; know how to use it and perform well with it. Personally speaking, I would recommend using gun to kill the victim quietly and gardening tools to shred and dismember the body. Gloves, a dark outfit, bleach, and weapon must all be ready in a fraction of a second. Now, you a prepared to carry out a murder. You can find the perfect victim based off how much a person annoys you. Or like the craigslist killer, just murder the next person you see. I find people found in local parks to make great victims.

No matter which method you choose, they all have pros and cons. Murdering a person that annoys you also means you know that person. When police start their investigation, other people also are award of your turbulent relationship. Unless you can’t live with an annoying person, I would recommend one of the other methods. The pro to this method is that an annoying person is dead. Using sites like craigslist or a dating sit under an alias, is a good way to find a lonely person in a rural, back country area. Pros to this method is you can get you victim at any time in any place you decide to meet them.

An obvious con is that the police are increasingly more efficient on the internet. Your computer trail can be traced back to you. The final method I recommend is the park method. Travel to a distant park, preferably cross country. Then stay in the park, find a victim, and carry out the crime. Pros to this method is after you flee the scene you may never be found again. A major con, however, is because you crime would take place over state list it would be a federal case. Federal cases can end in the death penalty while most states have banned the death penalty.

Once you have decide the best method for you crime, it is time to find you victim. On craigs list search for the lucky one. Over a dating site, find the heart broken one. In a park find a lone, isolated victim. Or strike a person the annoys you in secrecy. When you have identified your victim and you stalking, preparations, and exit rout will work 100% of the time; it is now time to carry out the crime. FInally you have your victim and are in prime striking location. Now the fun begins. Take a silenced pistol; one bullet to the top of the spinal cord will do.

Once the victim is dead on the ground take a tool or gardening tool; shred the body and take all of the teeth. The body is hard to identify if the police every find it. Before you move the body to a secret location you must dimember it. The best method is to take and ax and cut it apart. To do this slide all of the body’s joints. Oncet the body is in little pieces put it in a garbage bag. Then move the bag to you means of transportation. Before you leave on you transportation, through hidden get away rout you must clean the scene. Bleach does the best job, however other cleaners will do.

Pour the bleach all over the scene of the “accident” and then wipe down door knobs, switches, and other place you may of touched. If you plan ahead you can find the perfect person to murder. Remember to stalk a victim before attacking and always be prepared for the worst. Consider a secret get away rout, gun, tools, and cleaners to be use before, during , and after a murder. The last thirteen times I have followed this blueprint I have not gotten in trouble with the law. I hope kiling bring the same amount of joy I has brought me.