Satirical Articles On School

Anything from A-Z that involves school is a bad habit that I have to deal with. I mean everything about school annoys me. That means teachers, rules, and parking, finding paper to write on. I was saying to my best school bud Jared, the following questions. Where we were hanging out by the food truck complaining about how lunch is only 35 minutes and it just isn’t enough time to have lunch. It’s a hassle to get to school on time.

Especially, when I hit the snooze button like five times. It would be nice to have a later start time. I don’t like how my school day starts off with first period. Because that’s when all the announcements are made and we have to stand for the pledge of allegiance. Which by the way, I don’t say because I don’t believe in it.

If you think about it, saying the pledge is brainwashing kids into thinking America is the best place on Earth. When there are other countries out there that are just as good or better than America. Anyway, after we do all that stuff in first period, then we go to our next class where we learn things that we will probably never use in real life.

Like, why do I need to know the Pythagorean theorem? It’s not like I’m going to be a mathematician or something. And, don’t even get me started on school lunches. They are so gross and unhealthy. I would much rather bring my own lunch from home. But, my mom says that it’s too expensive and that the school lunch is good enough. Yeah, right! I would rather starve than eat that crap they serve us.

The worst part of school has got to be the teachers. They are always getting mad at us for no reason and giving us homework over the weekends and during holidays.

“Let’s look at this further through the lens of our educational microscope,” my sixth grade teacher once said to us. To analyze and deconstruct this perplexing issue.

It’s such an immense inconvenience to arrive at school on time; I’m always late, no matter what time school starts. Jared told me he knows the feeling — he’s usually late, too — but his reasoning is much different than mine. He said that he doesn’t like school and would rather sleep in, which I find to be a very valid excuse.

For me on the other hand, I am tardy because of my distaste for mornings. It is very difficult to wake up when it is pitch black outside and all you want to do is go back to sleep. My mother always says that I used to be such a morning person and would bound out of bed with so much energy, however that was years ago.

I remember when I was younger, I could never wait to go to school. My favorite part about school was learning new things and being able to socialize with my friends. At lunchtime, I would eagerly trade my sandwich for my friends chips or dessert. It was the best feeling in the world to be able to share and be considerate of others. Nowadays, school feels more like a job. I have to wake up early, do homework and there is always that looming feeling of stress hanging over my head.

I believe that the education system should put more emphasis on creativity and imagination. In my opinion, schools should provide more opportunities for students to express themselves through art or music. By doing so, students will feel more engaged in their learning and be less likely to dread going to school. It is important for young people to feel inspired by their education and not see it as a chore. After all, education is the key to success in life.

Jared always tells me how he’ll never need math in real life, but people who take Auto shop learn actual skills they can use. Take English for example.

Who really needs to know how to write a 5 paragraph essay? In the real world, you would be hard pressed to find anyone who actually writes like that.

Jared: Yeah man, I totally agree with you! School is just a waste of time. I’m never going to use any of this stuff in the real world.

A lot of the textbooks we are assigned are outdated and I don’t get why we wouldn’t be encouraged to read more recent books with fresher content. It’s not like memorizing the periodic table will do me any good in real life. Chemistry really isn’t applicable outside of a classroom setting. Learning all the different elements is pointless information if you ask me. Not only that, but it’s boring as hell.

What else do I need to know? In high school, we are constantly being bombarded with new information and trying to regurgitate it for tests.

I think that a lot of what we learn in school is completely useless and doesn’t prepare us for the real world. For example, I don’t think I’ll ever need to know how to calculate the surface area of a cylinder in my life. I also don’t think I’ll need to know the different types of poems and what they are used for.

I think that schools should focus on teaching us things that we will actually need in our everyday lives. Instead of teaching us things that we will forget as soon as the test is over, schools should be teaching us how to budget our money, how to cook a meal, and how to do our taxes. These are all things that we will need to know when we enter the “real world”.

So, next time you are stuck in a school lesson that you find completely pointless, just remember that there is a chance that it could be preparing you for your future. Or, it could be totally useless and you will never need to know it again. Either way, try to get through it and don’t let it stress you out too much. After all, school is just a temporary phase in our lives and it will eventually be over.

Leave a Comment