Fear is something that now everyone has, but it is something that everyone will or should experience in their life time. It is not bad to have fear about something, it’s actually normal to have fear. The time when fear caught me at my worst time was 3 years ago. A warm summer night in July, I was in my dad’s house sitting on the couch watching TV. A normal thing to do at 8 0 clock. My dad comes down after a short argument which led to my brother slamming the door and getting on his longboard. I wasn’t sure what was happening at the time, but what I did know is that it wasn’t going to be a fun night for me.
Daniel was 15 at the time and was doing everything wrong with his life. Not to get into detail, but doing drugs at his age was the “cool” thing to do. Cocaine, Marijuana, Shrooms, Acid anything and everything he could get his hands on to make him feel good. My dad tells me to get in the car because I was going to my friend’s house. Though it wasn’t planed I was happy to get out of the negative environment. So I get in the car buckle in and we pull out of the driveway. I ask my dad what is going on and why he seemed so stressed.
Of course any parent in his situation did not want to talk about it so he calmly said nothing and turned on the radio. We get to my friend’s house and he gets out tells me to stay in the car as he talks to my friend’s mom. So I sit waiting for the response saying alright David I’ll pick you up in the morning. I over hear him talking about how he is going to take Daniel to a rehab facility so he can get off of all the stupid drugs he decided to take. Being the loving and caring brother | am I want to see my brother go off and make something good with his life.
My dad says “David get out of the car you’re going to stay here tonight. ” I politely refused and said I want to see my brother before he goes away. We start to get into an argument and things escalated so I go out of the car and started running home. My friend didn’t live far so I knew that I could make it back home in about 10 minutes it I took a shortcut. My dad chased me down with the car. Being angry as I am told him to keep is fucking hands off of me. He grabbed me spanked me so Iran back to my friends mom whom I loved so dearly because she was always there for me whenever I need someone to talk to.
My dad grabbed me by my neck put me against the wall told me to never tell him what to do again in a tone that I have never seen him in and smacked my face. I told him to never talk to me again. Not that I meant it but the anger was flowing through my blood so I knew it was right to say. I never knew what was happening that night except for the fact that my friends was in Ohio with his uncle and the only choice I had at the time was to stay the night there. I calm myself down and get some sleep. Just to wake up in a few hours with my friend’s mom telling me that my brother has gotten into a car accident and that he is in the hospital.
We get in to the car with me so tired that I was oblivious to the situation that I was in. We get to the hospital and I have to sit in the waiting room to wait to go see my brother. Hours pass by and imp drinking coffee comforting my sister telling her that everything is going to be okay and that it isn’t as serious as they say it is. Sure I’m not positive of the situation but I would like to believe the same thing. My doctor comes and tells my dad that we can go see him. I tell the doctor that I want to be the first person to see him bit instead they make sure that my dad is okay with it.
I go in the room to see my brother in the worst position that I have ever seen him in scared that he might not make it out. Fearing that my brother is going to die. Weeks go past my brother is sitting in the same bed in a medically induced coma and cannot speak to me. I sit there hold his hand and tell him everything that I have been doing that I’m playing football and I’m going to dominate. I know that he can’t hear me but he squeezes my hand which makes me cry. I never knew that my brother ever meant so much to me until that moment.
A few weeks pass and my brother is able to talk I tell him constantly that I love him and that if he passes away that I’m not going to be able to live much longer. He pulls through everything within a month. The fastest recover the doctors have ever seen from an accident this bad. So what is fear? Fear is something that you know is there but you want to avoid. Fear is something that regardless of what you think you have it. You may not know what fear means to you, but my worst fear is losing the one and only person that I cannot live without. My brother.
