I never really think about not having a dad growing up unless someone points it out. That is, thinking about how it affected my life. “Sure it bothered me, but I didn’t need him,” is a quick summary I tell my friends. My father left Illinois not too long after I was born. My mother was still here, falling a tad bit short of the “responsible” example. Overall, l’ve done superb without him. However, thinking about all the times I wish he’d been here, I realize it made a big impact on my outlook and opinions. March of 2014 changed my life.
I had spoken to my father once, a few weeks before, for the first time in 14 years; not that I cared. He had explained how it wasn’t entirely his fault he hadn’t been around, and that I’d see him soon. I didn’t think he meant that. A few months after that I moved in with him. I’ve lived there since. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, issues, and misunderstandings. Recently, one of my friends asked me to speak on the subject. Brooke approached me during lunch. “Maddy, I was wondering if you’d mind discussing your parental situation with me. she inquired. “Sure! ” I said, not knowing she meant details, about my father. “Well… can you describe how it was growing up without a dad? More importantly, how it was with him reentering your life? ” She ventured. “Hmm. May I think on it and get back to you? ” “Of course. I just have another friend who needs advice, and another perspective. ” She said. I’ve thought a lot about how to reply to my friend.
Should I write her a paragraph? Maybe just brush it off? But I know should do this. The next day, I caught up with Brooke as she was leaving school. Mind if I ride home with you? ” “Sure! ” she exclaimed. I climbed in the car after putting my books in the backseat. “I was thinking about what you asked me. ” I sighed. I began to explain as she pulled out of the parking lot. “Me, personally, I think of not having a father as this: easy. He wasn’t there. What do I miss? But then, when I would go to my friend’s houses, or hear them discuss something they we’re going to do with their dad this weekend, I’d feel a little pain in my heart. Sometimes, I’d ask them to explain what it was like to have their dad.
I would long to have someone in my life, a “protector” and example. I’d never been a mommy’s girl, and definitely didn’t have the option to be a daddy’s girl, so I focused mainly on myself. I rely on no one and I cling to education. I can’t help thinking about how things could have been different if he’d been here. ” “Now to the other subject; Yes I’ll answer both. “| laughed and looked at Brooke, hoping I wasn’t being boring. She turned a corner and I saw the Arby’s not too far from my house come into view. “My dad has been in my life for about one year now.
Exciting huh? It’s not normal, or even odd. It’s insane. Having someone supposed to be there for all your life, just pop up! Not to mention, in my teen years. My dad and I get along now, truthfully, I think we’re just waiting for me to go to college. There was a time when this wasn’t the case. When he first moved back from Florida things were uncomfortable. Then within a couple months things turned hostile. We didn’t know, or understand each other. I had resentment. He was mad I didn’t immediately forgive him. We started to cool down when school started my freshman year.
Now my father and I argue because I’m too mature. I had to grow up too fast, mostly because he wasn’t here. I assume responsibility easily, which for some reason, he doesn’t like. Overall, I think things will even out when we go our separate ways again. I will never have a phenomenal relationship with him like he wants. ” We we’re now on my street. I reached around to grab my books as Brooke stopped in front of my driveway. “Maddy, I’m surprised. ” She admitted. “I would have never thought anything like this would pertain to you.
I’m sorry if I made you ;uncomfortable. ” She said cautiously. “Thank you for listening! I don’t mind speaking about it, helps me gather my thoughts on it. ” I reassured. I got out of the car and slowly walked up to my house. My dogs barking loudly, I unlocked the door. “Hey dad! ” | hollered. I walked into the hall and went straight to my room, my typical routine. “Would you like to go to El Rodeo and catch up on this weeks events? ” He asked, coming out of his room. I smiled and put my jacket back on. I like how we are, even if the road here was wobbly.
