Looking back, I was introduced to my first masculine activity when I turned four. At this young age, my Dad signed me up for Kung Fu. My Dad thought it was proper because I was a boy. On the other hand, my sister who is hardly younger than me, was never introduced to Kung Fu because she was a girl. While practicing Kung Fu in an all-boys class, I was encouraged to get excited about fighting. As a child, I loved anything that had to do with action, whether it be watching Power Rangers on television, or playing rough with my action figures. Creating fight scenes with my G.
I. Joes was one of my favorite games for many years. In addition to my own discovery of action, my friends reinforced such interests. My neighbors introduced me to a show that was chock full of action, Naruto. Naruto and other action-packed shows heavily influenced my behavior. I still remember how I always wanted to start a fight, because I was introduced to shows that encouraged fighting. This relates to the “Barbie Girls Versus Sea Monsters” article as Messner describes how the boys’ soccer team was rowdy with the girls due to their masculine nature (Messner).
In short, I was rambunctious in Elementary School. I was always playing rough with the other boys at school, and I always managed to get myself into conflicts with other students. As I continued to be very energetic, my Dad decided that it was time to try a different manly sport to help me burn off some energy. When I was five years old, my Dad introduced me to Karate. Despite the sport appearing to be just another part of most boy’s childhood, it instilled upon me a great number of lessons.
It slowly taught me how to be disciplined, respectful and refrain from violent behavior. Karate has been a part of my life for the past 14 years, and it has had a lasting impact. The lessons that | learned from Karate played into my life as I got myself into two fights on the school bus. Since I grew up with violent television shows and games, I was always eager to cause trouble. The first time I got into a fight was due to a lack of self-control as slapped a bully across the face, and was greeted with a punch in the face.
At that time I had not matured from the rowdy child that I once was. Two years later, I got into another fight on the school bus, and this time I had learned how to suppress my inclination to violence. I was punched in the face, and chose not to fight back as that was what I was taught in karate. It was at this moment that I had become more mature. Despite appearing to be unscathed in both cases, I reckoned I was not made of iron. After getting hit directly in the face, I felt like I was about to burst out into tears, however I knew that I could not cry.
In addition to Karate helping me become more mature, I also learned during training that boys do not cry. There were multiples incidents during karate class in which I got severely injured, and with that I started to sob, but my teacher quickly told me to stop crying. He said boys do not cry. This expectation that I learned, relates to the article about the football player who was expected to keep playing even after sustaining a fatal head injury. In this piece, Edward M. Kian looks out how media coverage of sports has created an expectation that males are supposed to suppress their pain (Kian).
Unfortunately even today, boys are still expected to act tough and girls are treated with sympathy, which is a topic we recently discussed in class. This specific gender expectation was prevalent during the karate tournaments that I took part in. During one of the tournaments, I was kicked in the throat and balled my eyes out. My Dad told me not to worry about the pain and from there, I knew I had to suck it up and finish the fight. I gathered my composure and ended up beating the other kid in the fight. This state of mind was also present in my days of playing soccer.
When I was in middle school, I played another masculine sport, soccer. I played soccer for a few years, and within that time span, I had sustained multiple injuries. Some of the worst injuries were when I was hit in the groin and I could barely walk. As soon as I considered walking off the field, I was immediately reminded that I would be considered weak. In addition to this, I also knew it would be embarrassing ifl quit. I found myself acting tough again as I walked in pain just to satisfy society’s gender expectations. As I was growing up, my parents decided that I would never play certain sports.
All sports can be dangerous, but some are much worse compared to the others. Despite the fact that most of my friends played football and hockey, my parents said that I could never play these sports. Since I could not participate in these activities, I was often looked down upon by others, as they considered me weak. The constant remarks about me being unmanly made me feel alienated, however I recently discovered during one of our classes that most of my classmates also had parents who would not let them participate in certain sports.
This discovery helped me feel better about myself. In addition to this rule, my parents also had different expectations for my sister and I. During most of my life, my parents always treated my sister and I differently. They always treated my sister with the mindset that she was weak and helpless. Additionally, my parents always assigned me male chores, and female chores for my sister. This lack of equality relates to Amartya Sen’s articles as he discusses how women are treated as inferior in the work force (Sen).
It is interesting to see how women of a variety of ages are looked down upon compared to men. Despite my sister being slightly younger, my parents always treated her like she was ten years younger. One time they decided that they would not let her walk our dog at night, even though my family lives in a very safe neighborhood. On the other hand, my parents were never once concerned about my safety, while walking the dog. I am also expected to do all of the shoveling, raking, dog walking and lawn mowing because of my gender. Meanwhile, my sister does the ishes, sets the table and does the laundry.
There were multiple times when I told my parents that this gendered treatment is unfair in this day and age, however they were insistent on sticking to their beliefs. The way in which I was brought up has made me realize that I do not want my kids to be raised with such strict gender roles. More specifically, I will want my kids to do chores that are done by both sexes. Despite both of my parents believing in certain expectations, my Mom is more extreme than my Dad. My upbringing has also been different than most kids, as my Mom is very sexist.
Ever since I was little, I have always been blamed and punished for actions that were either insignificant or when a scapegoat was needed. Whenever my Mom heard my sister and I fighting, she only punished me, without even witnessing what had happened. It was always a frustrating experience, as my sister always overreacted. For instance if I tapped her on the back she would yell “ouch”, even though | barely touched her. As I grew up I discovered that my Mom was treated poorly by her chauvinistic brother and father growing up, which led her to always favor my sister in times of conflict and in general.
All in all, it is quite apparent how my sex has impacted my life. Throughout my childhood, I always behaved in a masculine way to fit certain gender expectations. Even at the age of four, I was already being put into typical masculine activities such as Kung Fu. After Kung Fu, I was introduced to Karate which taught me that “boys don’t cry”. The class discussions and readings on gender roles have helped me realize how different my life has been because of my gender.
