“When women got the vote, they did not redefine voting. When African-Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They were simply invited to the table. That is all we want to do; we have no desire to change parenting. We want to be entitled to not only the same privileges but the same responsibilities as straight people”. Actress Cynthia Nixon summarized the idea of same-sex parenting in the most profound way with the above mentioned quote.
Many of the stereotypes that gay parents face within the nation are a result of unfair treatment in numerous aspects of life such as forms for adoption that require the listing of sexuality and the spread of unrealistic ideas that bash the gay community. The social welfare of “non-traditional” parenting is at risk if a change is not made to help these individuals feel equal to those of a heterosexual, two-parent household.
With statistics and research, same-sex parents are obviously just as capable of rearing a healthy child as are heterosexual parents; therefore, stereotypes facing the same-sex parenting population should be eliminated to ensure national equality among all citizens, gay or straight. Homosexual or same-sex couples are just as responsible and qualified to be parents as heterosexual couples. According to columnist Jarred Pennington, the legal definition of a family is “two or more persons, one of whom is at least 15 years of age, who are related by blood, marriage, adoption, step or fostering, and who are usually resident in the same household”.
One great way to analyze this specific idea is to look at parents with harmful habits or aggressive parenting methods who are heterosexual. Is it not more logical to have a loving, perfectly qualified same sex couple raise a child versus a heterosexual couple who have aggression issues and could possibly abuse the child physically or drug problems to where the child is malnourished? Most would choose the first option because what truly matters in a safe, nurturing household is the amount of love and support parents show their children.
One major concern against a samesex parents is that it creates a sense of uncertainty and confuses the children of the family. However, there are many steps to avoid this feeling of discomfort starting with simply speaking to the child and teaching them more about acceptance. Actor Neil Patrick Harris was quoted in the article The New Nuclear Family with saying “one way to deal with explaining parenthood with homosexual parents is to have separate names for each parent such as papa and dad instead of dad one and dad two”.
A child of this “non-traditional” family will actually have a broader horizon and eventually will be more open-minded. A major difficulty same-sex parents face is the adoption or surrogacy process, which is much simpler for a straight couple. More information is required from same-sex couples when going through either of these processes and a requirement of stating sexuality forces some couples to be pushed to the side when adopting. Although the process of obtaining a child is now easier for same-sex parents, it was much more difficult in previous times.
Although there are many hardships that same-sex couples face when becoming parents, there are ways we as a nation can create a sense of equality by making small changes. The most important change is the education of equality and fair treatment for the youth of today so that they will be an openminded group of citizens for the future. Another major change we can make is by not requiring the stating of sexual orientation on forms and maintain legal proceedings that prevent members of the LGBTQ+ community from being fired from an occupation.
By getting rid of just one extra checkbox on a form, we can eliminate the sense of separation, or segregation, as a whole for this group of human beings. At the end of the day, sexuality does not matter when becoming a parent, being a decent human being is the most important aspect of rearing a child. Along with the elimination of a checkbox or a blank space of applications and forms for adoption, our nation needs to appropriately portray same-sex parents in a positive way in the media and entertainment.
Over the past few decades, same-sex parents have been making headlines and are being portrayed in a much more positive way in entertainment. Examples include the characters Mitch and Cam who adopted a daughter in Modern Family and Elton John and his husband adopting their two children. Through the popularity of same-sex couples in entertainment, the general population of our country rightfully has been exposed to healthy doses of gay parenting.
The idea of equality of couples as parents for gays, straights, lesbians, and anyone in between is fortunately becoming a reality. Although the clear answer of equality for same-sex parents is the correct opinion to many people, there are a few counterarguments circling in the nation. One such criticism is the idea that a child needs both parents in order to be raised “properly”; however, according to Suzy Khimm in her column The New Nuclear Family, “only 46% of children live in the traditional, heterosexual two-parent household”.
Another way of evaluating the argument is to consider children of a family where one parent has died, gone to prison, been divorced, or has simply been adopted by one parent because neither the man nor woman can produce offspring. Are these instances of parenting “inferior” to the heterosexual parent? Many agree that such occurrences are not, which in turn proves the validity of the same-sex parenting couple. Along with this counterargument, the idea of criticism children will face in society because of being raised by same-sex parents is a concern.
The best response to approach this concern is to simply keep communication open with the child. By allowing the child to ask questions and explaining things as clearly as possible, a comfort will be formed between the child and his or her parents. There will always be a reason children get picked on or set aside, no matter the child’s background. For every one of the few counterarguments for the pertinent issue of allowing same-sex parents to raise their child in a healthy society, there are just as many arguments for it, if not more.
The eternal question of the best way to parent a child is now including same-sex couples in the mix. With numerous studies and research done on the topic, same-sex couples are just as qualified to have a child as a heterosexual couple. A child does not need to be raised with two, opposite-sex parents, but rather love and attention given by caring individuals. Although there are criticisms facing gay parents, over the past few decades major bounds have been made to create a greater sense of equality; however, more steps can be taken in the long walk that is a peaceful and desegregated nation.
