For long as I can remember, it has been said by society that minorities, first generation, and people with low income do not stand a chance graduating high school, let alone get into college. Although, I have not faced discrimination from others, I have faced it from, at the time, the most important person in my life. My father. He’d start off the morning by saying, “Evelyn, sometimes it is hard to believe that you have good grades. ” My shoulders sag. “Come on Evelyn; do not tell me your brother is smarter than you,” he says calmly. “Evelyn, I do not know how you get A’s and B’s. Your brain must only work at school.
I put my head down. I feel my eyes filling up with tears by the second. I just want time to go by fast because I cannot take it any longer. I keep forcing myself to bite my lip so that I feel some kind of pain that will help me forget all the negativity that my father throws at me. I always stay quiet when he starts talking to me because I know if I say something it will make things worse. On Sunday, I come back home to my mom and tell her everything. I finally let tears run down my face. I start pouring out everything to her and hug her tightly because it is the only time I feel like I am safe.
Although he constantly broke me down, I learned how to motivate myself when things got tough. If it was not for my father then I would not have known my ability to have grit. I have become more motivated to become a better person. I feel confident in that I can prove my father wrong in that I am a smart individual and will be successful. His words are no longer going to have the power to bring me down. It became a habit to hear my father’s words, so I started to focus more on a positive mindset on how I was going to get through hard situations that were similar to this.
I anticipate to go through racial discrimination throughout these four years, and I know that when it does happen my reaction will be calmer and mentally prepared for ignorant people because of what I have gone through with my father. I will overcome this obstacle by ignoring and reminding myself that it is people’s rude comments that are motivating me to attack them with my success. There will be times where in my journey to success I will come across people that will make me work twice as hard to get the education | need because I am from a low income family, first generation, and a minority.
The main source that helped me get through difficult times was my mom. I always had my mom by my side. She is the one with the warmest hugs that would make me feel safe. My mom has impacted me the most because she is what holds me together. When she would find me in the bathroom crying, she would just hug me and give me her shoulder to cry on. My mom makes me a stronger person by constantly reminding me that I am much more than what my father tells me. This is where I became determined to start showing my father I was intelligent.
I finished my first year of high school with straight A’s and throughout the years I stayed on the honor roll with a GPA of 3. 5. This was the moment where I did what I had to do. My mom also protects me and has taught me that I do not need anyone with bad vibes in my life. All I need is encouragement so that I can focus on school. She has helped me realize how much I have accomplished without my father and in some way that has showed me that I have become an independent woman who can take on any challenge.
To this day, she continues to push me forward to become a better person, encourages me, and motivates me whenever I am having a hard time and think I cannot push further on my own. With this in mind, now that I am on my journey to coll to use all my assets to overcome anything that gets in my way. I am going to be someone when I leave Beloit in four years. I will attend office hours and have one-on-one conferences with faculty. What matters the most is what I think of myself and realize what I am capable of doing with my grit, responsibility, and determination.
I am the first one in my family to go to college and, although it will be stressful at times, I will be able to handle it much better because of the motivation my mom has instilled in me. Although, I am currently undecided, I am going to take every opportunity that is given to me to build knowledge and continue to grow. My mind is set to try new things and want to explore and learn how to be independent. I will make this possible for myself by studying abroad and making the right choices for myself as a college student.
I know I am wellprepared for taking challenges because of what I have been through. Due to all of the negative comments, I received and my father’s doubts, I became more wise and humble. I am more than sure that I am prepared for the workload, essays, and time management skills that are given to me throughout my journey here at Beloit College because, I will have the confidence and determination to advocate for myself when some certain things go wrong, whether to write a five page essay, stand up to people who make ignorant comments, or when I just need someone to talk to.
