Sitting in the freezing rain on a December afternoon wondering what I did so wrong to be thrown out of my house. I look into the puddle that was formed due to the accumulation of the rain. As I lean forward to look into it all I see is a reflection of a child that was misunderstood and used his entire life. This child was me. While many children had a childhood filled with laughter and friends; this was not the case with mine. As a child that grew up with no friends; a person would perceive me as an anti-socialist, which in all reality would be far from the truth.
I would crave the attention from any individual that would give me the time of day. Even though I craved the attention from any individual; the person that I craved the attention the most was from my mother. This is still untamable till this day. Although children are supposed to be the light of their parent’s world; this is not true especially for me. Constant arguments between my mother and I lead to many unresolved issues and a further distance that would never be broken.
The argument with my mother that stills haunt me to this day is the day that I decided to move in with my father. It was a cold December morning, I remember going to my room at my grandparents’ house to grab a blanket. Also my family’s current situation was very bleak. My parents was going through a rough patch. This was not new to me though due to the majority of their marriage being a rough patch. Even though I tried to stay optimistic through these rough patches; I would soon become depressed due to the current situation.
All though my physical appearance was spot on; my mental state of mind was slowly deteriorating. All though I was going through one of the most difficult times in my life; my mother would not step up to the plate to take care of her children. This would be the argument that would end my relationship between my mother and me.
As I walk into her room to discuss what she wanted to talk about; I could feel my stomach tying up in knots due to the anticipation of this conversation. “Will”, said Brandi in a snarky tone, “So what is this I hear f you wanting to move in with your father? ” Living with my mother was not always bad however it took a turn when she first started seeing her new boyfriend, Mark. Even though I was happy for her; a part of me still wanted her to take some time off her relationships and focus more on her children.
“Yes”, said Will in a peaceful tone, “I want to move in with my father just to get to know him better and have a stronger relationship. ” This is the start of a change reaction of events that would end me getting kick out of my grandparent’s house. I can’t believe you want to move in with your father”, screamed Brandi in a loud tone, “Do you not love me anymore or is it something that he is bribing you with to move over there? ” As I try to explain my side of the story; my mother starts to play the victim card. She normally plays this card when she is either not getting her way or she is the one at fault for a situation. “You must not never want to see me again”, said Brandi in a hateful tone, “If you leave I will hate you for forever.
As I begin to walk away from her to help diffuse the situation; my mother decides to grab my arm and push me down. “I hate you”, screamed Brandi, “I will never forgive you. ” This shocked me to the core due to the fact that my mother has never said anything this drastic before. “Well mama, I love you but it is time that I grow up”, said Will in a shock full tone. I had never have retaliated like this before. She then throws me out of the room onto the porch with my keys in my hand and told me to never come back.
Now I sit here wondering what I did so wrong to my mother for her to throw me out of my grandparents’ house. I look into the puddle and see a person that was used and misunderstood throughout his life; but, it was time for me to grow as an individual. Then, I called my father to come get me and to tell him that I was moving in with him. “Will”, said William in a questionable tone, “Are you sure this is what you want to do; you are making a decision that will affect you and your mother’s relationship for forever.
“Yes”, said Will in a straight forward tone, “It is time that I learn to become more independent and let myself be happy for once in my life. ” As I begin to move forward with my life; my mother still tries to keep in touch with me but to this day it is unsuccessful. Even though I have moved on with my life; a part of me still regrets not fixing things with my mother. At least I still have the amazing relationship with my father because he was the one I could always rely on.
