At some point in their lives, everyone will have to tell a lie. There are many reasons and motives to lie, but all require the same basic set of skills in order to do it effectively. The lie must be believable, consistent, and delivered correctly. Lying is done for three main reasons: to spare someone’s feelings, to brag, and to cover something up. Lying to spare someone’s feelings and to brag are the simplest forms of lies, and are fairly easy. Lying to cover something up is the most useful and most common type of lying, and is fairly easy.
The first step is determining the reason for the lie. This allows the person to better prepare a suitable story. The decision to lie can happen two ways. It can be predetermined, or it can be an in-the-moment decision. The predetermined lie will always be better, and should be used whenever possible because it will generally be more believable, easier to remember, and better delivered. Although some might think that it would seem less rehearsed to lie on the spot, stumbling over the truth is not common.
Lying on-the-spot is also possible, but usually can only be done by seasoned liars. Consider the risks and benefits of lying. If it is a lie that will be only a little beneficial, but could have huge consequences, don’t tell it. Only lie when necessary, because getting caught in a lie even once can mean never being trusted again. Lying to spare someone’s feelings is perhaps the most innocent form of lying. When someone’s friend asks them if they like their new haircut, the vast majority of people will say that they do no matter how much they dislike it.
In order to tell this form of lie effectively, the most important thing to remember is to answer quickly, but not too quickly. Make sure that enough time has passed in between when they ask the question and the answer to actually appear to have considered the question. Like all forms of lying, it is important to keep it believable,and not to go overboard with praise. There is some disagreement over whether hyperbolic bragging is actually lying, but for the purpose of this paper, assume it is.
The trick to bragging effectively is to make sure it is something that cannot be easily disproven. Do not claim to be able to juggle 10 glasses at once unless able to prove it. People want to be entertained be impressive, rare skills, so they will ask to see it even if they believe it is the truth. The final type of lie, to cover something up, is an extremely useful skill to perfect. There are many uses for it, such as a forgotten assignment. Everyone has experienced the panic of realizing that there is something due in two hours that they will not have time to do.
The two main options for dealing with this are lying or telling the truth. Assuming a lie is chosen, first consider all the options. The assignment could be forgotten at home, the person could have just been very busy, or any other number of explanations. Choose a lie and stick to it. Perfect it by practicing to other students. If the lie chosen is a forgotten binder, complain to people about it. When the teacher comes around, the lie will be ready. Say it casually, and give details only if asked for them.
The best thing to do is to think about how the lie would be told if it was actually the truth. Suppose the realization of the forgotten assignment came later, when the teacher is collecting it. Lying on the spot would be needed, and although it is a similar skill to predetermined lying, there are slightly different techniques. To lie on the spot, it must sound natural. Try and keep it realistic, and remember what the lie is, otherwise it will be difficult to repeat later if needed. Don’t speak too slowly or too quickly, and pause briefly if needed, as if trying to remember.
Generally, it is better to stick to the truth on the spot unless the person is an experienced liar. There are ways people can detect lying. These are called “tells”, and everyone has different ones. Anyone who wants to become a master liar must figure out what their tells are. Excessive fidgeting, slight head shaking, fast breathing, and gripping things are all common ones. It is nearly impossible to completely get rid of tells, as body language is mostly subconscious. Stay relaxed, look the person in the eye, keep a steady voice and don’t say the lie more times than necessary.
Try practicing in front of a mirror and look for tells, or ask a good friend. Mastering the tells is essential to mastering lying, so becoming aware of them is very important. Lying is often morally frowned upon due to its deceitful nature. Sometimes lies are necessary to spare feelings or to cover something up, as long as it doesn’t throw someone else under the bus. If everyone lied all the time, the world would not function well. However, without lying, the world would be a much colder, crueler place.
