Everyone has there own opinion and sees things a different way and that’s okay. Some may say its a good thing but I do not think so. The question is ” Are adults hurting young children by pushing them to achieve? ” and I say yes . I researched a lot of answers for this topic and many people had said that it is a great thing to push their child to succeed and achieve at things in life but in reality it is not. It is hurting us when they push so hard and expect so much . I chose this topic because I can relate to the situation.
In one of the articles that I had researched it had mentioned that parents are killers. That they stress there kids out so much that they are literally killing themselves because of the stress that their parents are causing them. It also mentioned that parents should not take away their freedom to do what they want and I agree their head shouldn’t be stuck in a book 24/7 when they don’t want to. They shouldn’t be forced to do what they don’t want to do. In another article it talked about a boy named Kevin. His mother had had him in a lot of activities with his schedule packed every minute of the day.
The cause of him having to do so much made Kevin anxious , trouble when sleeping , and tired all the time . He had mentioned he wasn’t having a good childhood . He was overscheduled and on the brink of depression. “The consequences of putting so much pressure on the child may have detrimental affects” (Katen para 4). They may be anxious all the time, have low self esteem, rebellion, inability to live up to expectations. They may also be depressed and turn to drugs and alcohol or even a eating disorder. It is crazy how all this happens because of a parent . You wouldn’t think that a parent would do that to their child.
Some children are not able to function well with so many responsibilities and expectations. In another article it mentioned this young boy that played sports and he had made an error and his father had went over to talk to him and rather than asking if he was okay he scolded him for playing poorly. A week later he had another game and his mother had called him over after a play and she too did as the father did and sharply criticized him. He started to sob. Parents shouldn’t be like that they should let their child live their life. It is not always about winning its more about having fun.
It was stated that many children that are pressured by their parents to achieve and succeed may gradually withdraw from them and shut down. Some may think that they are not worth anything or loved by their parents unless they are perfect. If you constantly expect so much from them, you may be sending the wrong message to them. Encourage them to do there best but don’t act like they didn’t try hard or study enough if they bring home a B instead of and A grade. A child that is constantly beaten down because of their grades and shamed when they bring home a report card may feel anger and resentment toward their parents.
Some more effects that it may have on a child can be they may have antisocial behaviors, lying, acting out, verbal outbursts and refusing to do things, and not only potential behavior problems but also chronic stress. Several signs of stress include withdrawal, desire for solitude, stomachaches and headaches. Being pushed also causes tension and anxiety. Often children are unable to express how they feel or what they are feeling when under all that pressure. Pushing to hard can be internalized as “You’re not good enough” This message can translate into a number of different behaviors.
Knowing that their parents have high standards and want them to pass may cause them to cheat or copy their friends paper despite the consequences of getting in trouble and that is not right a child should not have to cheat to please their parents. Some tips on how parents can reduce stress on teens that this researcher had stated are slow things down don’t pour everything on them all at once, let them enjoy life. Also communication with teenagers is good if they don’t get what you are saying they will never understand. Take time to look at their schedule and see if he is unnecessary things that can be taken out so they wont be over loaded with things to do everyday.
Give them an opportunity to make decisions in their own life, and last but not least make sure your child or teen is not too thinly stretched, above her head, or feeling overwhelmed trying to achieve goals that are not his or her own. When parents push so hard it gives the kid a negative feeling. Like saying if you don’t have high grades you will not make it in college. Getting pushed so hard to achieve hurts so many children. Like most parents they want to see their child achieve. Parents also have high standards in what they want.
When someone brings home a low but passing grade they dog at them because it is not good enough and it is not acceptable. To them they are failing when in reality they are really passing and that is hard on them because it makes her think she is a failure because she hears it every time she brings home a report card and she don’t like bringing them home because she knows that her parents are going to have something to say even when it is good no matter what they always do. When they are getting onto her it makes her feel like she is no good and also worthless to them because she is not the perfect child they want.
Sometimes she even starts crying because they put her down. She gets stressed out over her grades because she tries so hard to where she fails. It has gone that far that she fails under pressure because she is trying to keep up with what they want and all the pressure just makes it worse. She wishes they would just accept what she brings home because she does give it her all even when they say she don’t try hard enough she really does. She also says that her parents never accepts anything she does wither its good or bad nothing is ever good enough.
The result of stress on your body is not good. It has many things that can happen to your body like headaches, stomach aches, high blood pressure, chest pain, and problems with sleeping. Some facts on stress that were mentioned on WebMD Forty-three percent of all adults suffer adverse health effects from stress. Seventy-five percent to 90% of all doctor’s office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) declared stress a hazard of the workplace. Stress costs American industry more than $300 billion annually.
The lifetime prevalence of an emotional disorder is more than 50%, often due to chronic, untreated stress reactions. That’s just a little information to look at, would you want that to be your kid going through that, but it is crazy that parents cause all this stress on their children and do not even know the effects it has on them. In conclusion of this article parents don’t see what they put on their child. Parents need to think twice before they put all this pressure on there kids, you do not want them to end up sick or having problems in life. Are you hurting your children by pushing them to achieve?