“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed” (C. G. Jung). The contact I held with Paige, definitely felt like a reaction. However, repeatedly with relations between people, communication contains vast importance. The close friendship failed, when one question about a dance lead to miscommunication. School dances, where alcohol and partying usually ensues, considered the pinnacle of high school. Many consider the excitement of this night not comparable.
Societal expectations and our natural belief creates an atmosphere altering decisions based on logical assumptions; enhancing the fear of negative possibilities in life. When looking at her, it was her bust, or her curves, rather the simplicity that gave her beauty. From the first time I saw her | never really had the ability to stop myself from looking at her, not from lust, but intrigue. My comfortability with Paige grew, which is rare. The time that I spent with her and my best friend, Tom, I consider unforgettable. We spent hours in her room, just talking.
We never used our technology to interact with each other, because it was so simple. My favorite memory, a late Saturday night that Paige was upset; she had an utmost amount of stress on her from school. Ring, Ring, Ring! “Hey, what are you guys doing? I tried calling Tom, but he never answer. “I stated back to her, “We’re heading home from Meijer, what’s up? “I don’t know, I just feel like I need to see you guys tonight. ” I question, “You alright? Is everything okay? ” She replied nearly in tears, “No I’m not, I’m just really stressing out, help.
So my friend and I decided to obtain her favorite ice cream flavor (Mint Chocolate Chip) and skittles. The night ended up being a wonderful day, including a lot of laughs; she gave me a hug at the end of the night. Physical affection is not something I strive to have more than necessary. Her perfume permeated my nostrils drawing me in; my head said no, I dislike this. Her warm smile, enticed me to come closer, but she came closer. My breathing picked up, I felt nervous, and I started sweating. The confusion began to swell, she is just a friend, and this only a hug.
Fighting my inner guy to not hug her, I tripped and fell onto her bed. She stood over top of me, like a cheetah over top their prey. I knew I had been bested, still she surprised me, her hug was warm, and loving. Being the 16 year old kid I brushed it off as a funny accident with my close friend, however, my friend thought different. Next, after a few weeks past, I endeavored onto a double date with my best friend, the girl’s best friend, the girl and myself. We went to Apple Bees for the date, a great idea.
She considered it as fun, giggling, smiling with all of her dimples; the number of times she threw her head back in laughter was beautiful. While sitting waiting for the food to be done, she left to go to the bathroom. During these moments I communicated with my friend an idea, ignore her for a little while. We laughed about it, when she got back to her seat, the ignoring began. Her getting frustrated lead to me laughing, because it became cute, her little nose snickering at me. She made me happy in whatever she did.
The night went well and she ended up giving me another cute hug, from a friend. After dropping her off, my friend, who introduced me to her, explained that he saw something. He saw her feelings for me, which given the evidence made sense. The way that she laughed or the way that she talked to me, seemed like she was interested. I never considered myself a “lady killer”; so venturing out into the forest which is relationships scared me. I then asked her to go to prom with me, over text, on my way back from Florida. She ended up saying no, I thought it finished business.
She said no, but I thought us to still be friends. However, the stereotypical belief that when going to prom there needs to be love to be able to ask. I simply did not want to go to prom alone. The question that I proposed lead to her to start not replying to my texts. Albeit replying to my texts I never considered a necessity; the text that hurt the most was the one explaining she did not want me to be friends with her, and that she contained no desire to talk with me anymore. Surprisingly, she left our friendship in the past, like we left disco, maybe for the better.
The expectation of love and the dance forced her into an uncomfortable decision. The thought of what a woman’s “job” is during the dance, especially an underclassman, of being the “doll,” shocked her. It lead her to making connections and assumptions about my person that were incorrect. Can I blame her? No, because societies past actions will be, in most cases, reflected in the future. This logical thought process will lead her to believing in the wrong things. This makes sense, sadly, this lead to the debacle of our friendship.
Society pressure plays a huge role in our lives, simply, we want to fit in. This leads to us playing a role, which limits what we can or want to do. My only question, what transpired through her mind, during this situation? My only assumption was the fear of meeting new people, and the fear of maybe being left out created this, almost nightmare reality; that she thought would be the situation if she accepted my acquisition. The possibility of my friends not accepting her, a problem she always struggled with, I consider a turning point of her decision.
However, I gave my word that my friends would be accepting of her. Did her past experiences aid to this? I had been kind and everything that most people wish for. This society in her opinion was in such shambles that risking meeting new people definitely creates a disastrous situation. I disliked this view point. Fear, human’s greatest weaknesses, enlarged her beliefs, leading to irrational decisions. Furthermore, why do these ideas of fear control us? Our natural belief system revolves around assuming the worst. If we ear a sound in the bushes we consider running away rather than continuing.
The reason, if we are right we live, however, if we are wrong we die. The saying, rather be safe than sorry, is repeated within our ancestry. With that logic, decisions become far clearer. Fear leads to all major reasons to end friendships and leads hate. If we live our entire lives in the shadow of fear; it leads to us missing out on important situations, these situations create our character and shape our being; not allowing for these situations to happen have the ability to create a shallow and empty person.
Overall, her feelings for me were non-existent. However, the ruining of our friendships went too far. The fear of the expectation of what a high school dances needed to be pushed her too far. Society is at fault for the way they made her feel. | dislike that fact so much, I hate living in a fear ridden society. Whenever I tried to confront her about it she hid away from the fact. It never did make sense to me, we were pretty good for each other. However, in most circumstances it is much easier to run away from facts and happiness and to become in love with fear.
