Everything began on that gloomy Sunday afternoon. I remember all the little details about that day like it was yesterday. I was late to my part-time job at The Alienator, a small, alien themed fast food joint on the corner of 2nd and Main Street. With coffee stains on my shirt, my hair a ruffled mess and my shoes on the wrong feet, I sprinted down the sidewalk, rushing to work. Breathing heavily, I was so focused on dodging and slipping past people, that I didn’t realize what was happening to my feet. As I ran into my usual shortcut, a quiet and dark alley, my feet slowly began to get higher and higher off of the ground.
It wasn’t until I was 3 feet over the sidewalk that I glanced down at my shoes and realized that I was running in the air. Am I flying?! In the moment, I couldn’t really explain what was happening to me. I was floating, more like hovering, over the sidewalk. Luckily no one else was around to really experience this traumatic event along with me. I gaped down at my shoes, trying to process this new supernatural ability that I seemed to control. Suddenly, I began rising, the distance between my shoes and the sidewalk greatly increasing. I was floating upward, like a balloon.
It almost felt like the sky was a giant magnet, pulling me towards it. Looking down at the small sidewalk, my head grew dizzy and I began to panic. Did I mention I have a fear of heights? Oh god, I thought, I have a fear of heights and I can somehow fly? Tightly shutting my eyes, I willed for this experience to just be a dream. I slowly opened my eyes, and immediately filled with dread. I was still floating, but it took me a second to realize that I wasn’t floating upwards, anymore, I was floating back down. I sighed with relief and glanced around the alley to make sure no one else had witnessed the incident.
It wasn’t until I was about 15 feet off the ground that I stopped moving completely and then I suddenly dropped to the sidewalk, gravity at work. I fell with a thud and took a few moments to collect my thoughts. Slowly getting to my feet, I remained in complete denial of what just previously occurred. I continued on my way to work, remembering how late I was. Exiting the alley, I glanced down at my watch. My shortcut really hadn’t saved me much time today. I was maybe 5 minutes away from The Alienator, when it happened. Again. Like the first time, I didn’t even realize that my shoes weren’t touching the sidewalk.
Suddenly I dropped 2 feet and my shoes hit the concrete again. My heart skipped a beat and I slowly exhaled, feeling a bit inconvenienced. Right now, this mode of transportation isn’t working out too well for me. Keeping my head down, I kept walking, desperately trying to make it to work. The clouded sky did begin to clear a bit, and the sun was shining down. I finally walked into The Alienator’s parking lot and glanced towards the restaurant. A few of my co-workers were already inside, preparing for the day. I didn’t see my boss, which was a good sign, considering how late I was.
I was inches away from the door, my hand outstretched for the door handle, when the unexpected occurred. I began to hover over the concrete again, for the third time. Panicking and worried that my coworkers would see, I tried my best to control this new ability of flight that I possessed. Knock it off, I thought, Can I at least go one day without making a complete fool of myself? The next thing I knew, I began floating upwards at a fairly quick pace. I glanced around wildly, trying to spot something that I could grab ahold of to stop myself from flying up into the Earth’s atmosphere.
To my luck, I didn’t see anything that could help my situation. I looked up, and almost threw up. You thought this story couldn’t get any crazier? Think again. I looked up and saw, to my utter dismay, a UFO. And suddenly everything made sense. I wasn’t flying to my own ability- I was caught in a UFO’s tractor beam. Although I finally understood what was happening, that didn’t make the situation any more comforting. I floated, helplessly, up towards an alien aircraft in the parking lot of my workplace, ironically named The Alienator. Well, now I’m really going to be late to my job.
